Remember Me
by ForgottenDespair
Summary: A long-short of Ghost and Roach, and their last few moments, with a twist. This a take on their deths in 'Loose Ends'. Anyways, enjoy. Ghost/Roach T for language.


**Authors Note: Hey, Forgotten here. So, I was sitting around, listening to some Seether while working on homework, when a song came on. The song in question was FMLYHM. Now, don't ask me why, because I'm not quite sure _how_, but the song reminded me of Roach and Ghost's death, except Ghost surviving. The verses, and that one quiet bit before the last chorus are the parts which inspired me.**

**Then ideas came, so many ideas and so many feels. All the _feels _man! So, to rid myself of the feels I ended up writing a short. Well, a long short. But still a short. Maybe one sot is a better term? Eh, I don't know. I was originally planning to put some of the lyrics to FMLYHM in here, but I decided not to, it seemed kinda stupid.**

**So, this isn't superb material, I admit. I think the ending was kinda sappy and cliche, and I should of left it off at the...8th to last paragraph? Something like that, you'll know what I mean if you read on. Plus, titles are _hard_ to come up with. Sorry for bad title. Anyways, tell me your thoughts, constructive criticism is appreciated!**

**Also, anything in _italics_ and between the ~ means it's a memory. Everything regular is the present._  
_**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"No..."

The lieutenant let out a moan, his hands clutching at his dirty blonde hair, eyes shut tight, fighting back tears of sorrow and remorse. Every night the same terror came over him, the same guilt washed over him, drowning him in an ocean of regret.

Three months. Three months and he was still falling deeper into the abyss. He was still having those nightmares, no longer of his long lost comrade...but of another, young sergeant, who had stolen something quite close to him.

_"Ghost, you know you're my best friend, right?"_

_"Oh am I? Why is that?"_

_"I don't know, you just are. Do you feel that way about me, too? Am I your best friend?"_

_"...Of course, you're my little bug, aren't you?"_

_"Ha-ha, yea. I want it to stay like that, even after the war. Best of friends, a bug and a ghost."_

_"Yea"_

_"...Promise?"_

_"Mhmm, I promise bug."_

The shots kept ringing in his ears, the screams still seemed fresh in the air, every morbid feeling still hit his heart like a bullet. Why couldn't he have saved him? Why couldn't he have tried harder!?

_"Ahhhh, Ghost!"_

_"I got you bug, don't worry, just get your arm over my shoulder."_

_"No, just go, I'm going to hold you back. Take the DSM to Shepherd, will be fine."_

_"Are you bloody mad? I'm not leaving your ass behind, now come on!"_

The whir of the helicopter blades, the powerful winds created by them, the dust and dirt being stirred up like a mini tornado, and the three men standing there, hiding behind their masks for the last time.

Ghost got up, staggering over to his desk, searching desperately through the desk drawers.

_"You got the DSM?"_

_"We got it sir!"_

_"Good, that's one loose end."_

_Bam._

_Bam._

_Ghost shot down the other too men as Shepherd's limp body fell, a hollow shell of a mask. He grabbed the DSM from his hand, holding it tight in his hand._

_"Bastard."_

Tears were streaming down his face; he was hardly able to breathe. He stopped his search, ripping something off his neck and clutched it tight to his chest, erupting into gut-wrenching sobs.

A single, bloody dog-tag was clutched in his hand tightly, as if it were a key to a locked door.

_"G-ghost...?"_

_The lieutenant spun around, rushing over the sergeant's side, falling to his knees._

_"I-I need to tell you something..."_

_Ghost stared down at him, at the river coming out of his chest. It flowed at a steady, moderate pace, out of the source, and downwards until it hit the dirt, slowly beginning to form a pool. It took all of his might not to wince at his wounds._

_"W-what is it bug?"_

_"I-I don't wanna be best friends...I never did..."_

_The words stung, and that only made the pain he felt worse. What had he done? Before he could say anything, Roach clasped his hand, gripping tightly, and Ghost gripped back, convincing himself it'd keep Roach going. In reality, it was keeping him sane at the moment._

_"I...I wanted to be more. Every day I thought about you, every night I worried about you dying, and every minute I thought to myself 'he'd never, ever say yes, he'd never talk to me again. He'd think I'm a creepy freak.'"_

_The sergeant was shaking, tears streaming down his face_

_"No one ever treated me like you did; no one ever cared for me like you. No one understood and accepted me like you did. Ever. You were always there for me, right at the start, and...and your here now." His breath was slowing, his eyes dimming. Every time he spoke his voice seemed to get softer and softer, as if it was fading away into the wind._

_"And...G-Ghost... are you...crying?"_

_The lieutenant was shaking, his body racking with silent sobs. He knew what was about to happen, and he wanted nothing more but for this to just be another horrid nightmare, and he'd wake up the next morning to the Sergeant pulling some pointless prank, his stunning green eyes full of life._

_But everyone knows how hard reality is. All he could do was grasp his hand tighter._

_"R-roaches don't die bug, they never do, and you'll be-"_

_"No I won't, and you know it," Roach said quietly, reaching his hand up to Ghosts face and gently removing his glasses, and gave a weak smile, "There's your eyes...pretty blue eyes, bluer than the sky... "_

Ghosts body racked with sobs, unable to think, unable to move. Roaches aren't suppose to die- why the hell did he die? Why didn't he try and stop the bleeding? What the _hell_ was wrong with him?_  
_

_"G-ghost, you'll be okay. Everything will be fine... Your right, roaches don't die. And I won't...I'll still be with you. Every moment of everyday, I'll be right there with you, cheering you on. And, I'll be in your heart, kind of like E.T. I always liked that movie, its one of my favorites. I'll always be with y-you though, I promise." A weak smile formed on the sergeant's face, a tear sliding down his cheek. "And I'll wait for you, till your very last breath. Remember that promise we made a while ago? Best friends...right?"_

He opened his eyes and starred at the silver object on the desk. Still sobbing, he grabbed it shakily, the dog-tag clutched tightly in his fist still. The memory kept playing in his mind, like a movie in a movie theater.

_Roach looked away, staring into the trees, tears filling his eyes. "Ghost, I...I always wanted to say this, but I never knew how. I...guess now is the time, huh?"_

_He kept his gaze off to the distance, his green eyes loosing light every second, his breathing slowly growing slower. The river was speeding up._

_"Ghost, I...I love you."_

_The sergeant began to break down after a brief moment of utter silence, finally grasping every loose strand and tying them together, finally realizing what was about to happen. He was going to die. He'd never see his family again, never be able to go home, and never be able to fight again. He'd never be with Ghost, like he always dreamed._

_What made it worse was the phantom beside him, who remained silent. He dared not to turn around. He didn't want to see the look of disgust he was sure was on his face. _

His pulse raced as he held up the other object, setting it next to his head. Tears continued to fall as he remembered that painful moment, and slowly held up the dog-tag. He silently the name imprinted on them; the name whose face haunted him like a ghost for the past three weeks, slowly breaking him down into nothing more but a lost soul.

_"I-I don't wanna die, Ghost, I wanna go home. I want to be back at base with everyone again, like the good old times. And you probably hate me right now, don't you? I-I'm so sor-"_

_He was stopped short as a hand covered his cheek, gently tilting his head toward the lieutenant's now unmasked face. Ghost leaned down, gently placing his lips on the sergeants, giving him a soft kiss._

_He could feel the slight spark as he did, and felt like he was one of those teenagers getting their first kiss with their crush. That feeling you can never, ever forget, it's just so wonderful. And you know no one else can give you that same shock, tingling up your spine. The world seemed to fade away in that brief moment. There was no wound, no threat of death, nothing to worry about. There was only each other, sharing a sweet kiss. Neither of them would want to trade that for the world._

_Ghost pulled away after a few moments, a small, tiny smile on his face. The sergeant stared up at him, at a loss for words. Ghost was the one to break the silence, "No, you're not sorry. You don't need to be."_

_He lifted Roach's upper body carefully to avoid hurting him more, and leaned his body again his, wrapping his arms around the frail figure in a light embrace from behind._

_No words needed to be shared. Their company was enough._

_Sgt. Gary "Roach" Sanderson._

His sobs began harder, the feeling in his gut growing stronger. His grip tighten around the gun, and he closed his eyes tight. He could still see how broken Roach looked, like a forgotten ragdoll. Every detail was fresh in Ghost's mind. How pale he was, almost as pale as the snow, how fragile he looked, how dull his eyes were, every ounce of light nearly sucked out of them. He looked like a dead man-walking. It was heart-breaking to the man. It still hurt him to this day

_Roach buried his head in the lieutenant's chest, his breathing growing slower and slower, blood staining the front of his uniform._

_"...Ghost..."_

_The lieutenant glanced down at the sergeant, who looked smaller than ever in his arms. He looked more like a five year old than a twenty-two year old._

_"Yea...?"_

_"P-promise you won't forget me? I don't wanna be forgotten, one of those tombstones without a name...a soldier with no face. I...I want at least...someone to remember me..."_

_"...I promise, you're my little bug, after all. Nothing could ever change that."_

_"...I-I love you Simon..."_

_With that his breathing halted, his body falling limp, his pulse faded away, the only thing moving the slow river of blood. All the light that once occupied his eyes, so full of hope and joy, had faded to lifeless jades, closing for the last time. His lasts words were forever etched in the lone man's mind._

_"I love you Simon."_

Ghost tensed up, closing his eyes tighter, and remembered that one kiss. That one last, sweet kiss that made him feel like there was nothing to worry about. He yearned for his soft lips again, the warmth of the sergeant's body, to be able to see his face every-day, full of life and energy. He didn't want to remember his bug as a small, frail shell of a man with milky white skin, with a small blanket of scarlet on his chest, his heart lifeless and no longer beating.

All he wanted was his bug back.

With a last shaky breath, he closed his eyes and whispered into the night one last sentence, almost feeling Roach's lips on his.

"I love you, too, bug."

_...Bam_.

He opened his eyes and found himself back in the field where his nightmare began, and panic began to arise in his chest. He didn't want to be back here, he didn't want to see the corpse of his decaying bug. But he realized someone was wrapped in his arms, looking up at him with a smile. The same chocolate brown hair, same uniform, same bright, joyful green eyes.

No wounds.

"I told you I'd wait," he said quietly, a mile-wide smile on his face.

The sergeant sat up, planting a kiss on his cheek, wrapping his arms around Ghost, and he hugged back. His body was no longer cold, only reassuring warmth was there.

Tears began to fall again out of the man's eyes, but not of remorse. No longer of sorrow or remembrance, but instead tears of happiness. He was no longer a broken man, a lost soul looking for a purpose. He was him again.

His bug was alright, and so was he.

And that's all he could ever hope for.

* * *

**Constructive criticism would be wonderful, I still honestly think this is sort of cliche, ya'know? Oh well, I think its kinda cute. Still feel the last few paragraphs could have been cut. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed guys!  
**

**Also, I'm currently working on part 2 of Nightmare, and my Left 4 Dead story will be updated soon as well. **

**Stay Beautiful and Handsome!**


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